Mind over Matter

Tennis is one of the most fascinating sports in the world in my opinion. Not only do you have to control your mental state for periods of two to three hours at a time, but also you have to exert immense physical strength, athleticism, and agility to run down balls. Tennis is a grueling sport that requires mental grit, intense stamina, and balance of one’s mind and body. I truly think there is no other sport in the world that requires an individual to solely be responsible for so many various things at once. Unlike team sports where a player can rely on a teammate to take the game winning shot, tying field goal, or assist, tennis is an individual sport in which no one can decide to hit a key shot on a big point other than you.

A lot of athletes and tennis players may get away with natural talent and or physical ability for awhile, but at a certain point people will hit a road block and plateau if they do not begin to focus on the mental side of the game.

A few short stories come to mind that sum up what I believe highlight my continuous journey moving from a results-oriented mindset to a more process-oriented mindset in tennis.

After finally making the CMS Varsity Tennis Team my sophomore year, I spent all season battling my way through challenges matches to move up from the bottom of the depth chart into the 9-man squad for the NCAA DIII Regionals Team. I was overcome with joy that I would be alongside my teammates representing my school in the biggest tournament of the year. Shortly after we won our region advancing to the Elite 8, my coach called me and said “Alex, I want you to play one of your upper-classmen teammates for the final spot on the NCAA 9-man Nationals Squad.” A bit flustered, I responded, “I thought we just played a couple weeks ago and I won that challenge match Coach.” He then explained “He has more experience as an upper-classman and I want you two to play again to determine who goes to Nationals with the team.” I simply said, “Yes sir, Coach”

Initially, I was frustrated, a bit confused, and honestly scared. I will never forget that practice in which, the two of us went down to the bottom courts while the rest of the team trained on the top courts as we battled it out for that final spot. Before this challenge match even started, I was beyond nervous, and could not keeping thinking about all of these “what-if” thoughts that were all fundamentally based in results. A couple examples that come to mind are: “what if I lose and do not make it on the Nationals Squad” or “what if I win and finally achieve one of my personal goals from the season to make the Nationals Squad.” I hope you can quickly realize from these results-oriented thoughts and nervousness I had, that the match was a complete and utter disaster. Not only did I play not to win, but I also had a great deal of negative self-talk and disbelief as I was watching my spot on the Nationals Squad slip before my eyes. I did not only lose this match in my view, but more importantly I lost not playing on my terms or with integrity, as I like to say. I walked out onto the grassy field to decompress, as I was pretty livid at myself for completely dropping the ball in what I viewed at the time at one of the most important matches to date.

I felt I completely let myself down not necessarily because I lost, but more so because I lost not playing on my terms or embracing a process-oriented mindset. Shortly after this match, my dad said something that was pretty tough for me to hear in that moment, but could not have been more true, “Alex, Coach is testing you and wanted to see if you can handle the kind of pressure when everything might be on the line on the biggest stage at NCAAs.” At the time, I was not mature enough to understand that my dad in many ways was right that this challenge match was a test of my mental composure and competitive ability.

A few days after that brief phone call with my dad, my sports psychologist and I had a very long discussion where a lot of things clicked for me. He reminded me that I continued to think with a results-oriented mindset and needed to pivot to “trusting the process” forgetting about the outcome.

This shift in mindset took countless hours of mental training with daily visualizations, meditations, and positive self-talk before practices and matches. After almost a year and a half of hard work on the mental side of my game, which I naively turned a blind-eye to for the first 15 years of my life playing this sport, I had a real break-through tournament. Late August 2016, a couple weeks before heading back to Claremont McKenna College for my senior year, I played in the San Francisco Tennis Club Men’s Open, which was held at the club I grew up training at for most of my life. I had a lot of friends, family, and my sports psychologist on hand to watch me play. Both excitement and nervousness ran through me before I stepped on court, but I looked myself in the mirror and knew I had trained as hard as I possibly could both mentally and physically. I did not want to disappoint everyone who showed up to watch me play, but I quickly realized that this was flawed logic and that I needed to play for me, myself, and I and nothing else should matter.

Throughout the tournament, I constantly reminded myself on court to “stay in the pocket” and “double down”, which have become key sayings of mine that I utilize while on court. Being in the pocket is equivalent to a flow state or being “in the zone” while “double down” embodies playing with a purpose and integrity on every point, but especially on bigger points. With this newfound process-oriented mindset and toolbox of key positive self-talk phrases, I ended up winning several close matches en route to winning my first Men’s Open Tournament of my career.

This tournament jump-started my senior year season as I had my best Fall ITA Results of my career and more importantly completed my dream of playing in a National Championship this past spring. Without embracing my visualizations, meditations, and toolbox of process-oriented key phrases, I would not have had the end of my collegiate career that I wanted.

Fast forward now to this past weekend in which I competed in my first tournament in over three months. I was so excited to finally be back to competing after rehabbing and training the last several weeks, but with that also came my own expectations that I had of myself. I have realized over the course of my training that I am stepping into the unknown, no longer competing for my teammates, or in a setting that is familiar to me, but that I am now playing for myself in a totally new environment. This new experience brings a lot of excitement and joy, but I would be lying to say that it does not also bring nervousness and expectations at the same time.

It is the Round of 16, the score is 4-3 in the first set, (40-30 and I have a break point opportunity), there is a ball I hit that clearly lands inside the singles sideline and my opponent calls it out almost before the ball even bounces. I absolutely lost it and burst. My mind goes crazy internally, I quickly get a referee, but my opponent and I proceeded to banter for most of the match. Reflecting back on my match a couple days ago, that one break point in the first set served as an incredible reminder that no one point is “the be all end all” and that in order to be successful on court and “play with integrity” and “trust the process”, I have to not let my emotional state and line calls take over my new state of mind.  

Even though I proceeded to win the next set forcing a 10-point tiebreaker, the overall theme of the match is crystal clear to me now. Emotions, results, and outcome do not lead to success on or off the court, but rather a process-oriented mindset, positive self-talk, and presence in the moment at hand is what will lead to the same success that I had this past season and at that Men’s Open in San Francisco last summer.

I have taken the past couple days to reflect and spoke with my sports psychologist about what happened in that match this past Sunday. We both know that these bad line calls happen. While it may seem unfair, ultimately they are out of one’s control. He reminded me that both on and off the court there are countless situations that are out of one’s control.

In any profession, sport, or life there are a great deal of factors that are outside of one’s control. So many things are out to distract and divert us from the course at hand, whether it is our smartphones and technology, irrational emotions, or the future. When these things happen in life, what is most important is our response in how we deal with these distractions. I pose a question to fellow readers and myself, do we let bad line calls or events outside of our control affect us to the point that we cannot play or think logically anymore? My answer is NO! I was the only one out on court today and fell for this small distraction when I could have completely changed the outcome of the match yesterday by focusing more on staying “in the pocket”, “trusting the process”, and moving onto the next point. I am not saying that I would have won or lost with a changed mindset, but I do know that I would have hands down given myself a far better chance!

Tennis is a humbling sport in that on any given day there is always going to be someone better than you out there. However, as long as I play with integrity and embrace a process-oriented mindset, I am satisfied because I know in the long-run that I will grow as a competitor and person both on and off the court from that mindset.